Corn Starch and Vaseline

Get yer heads out of the gutter, folks - it ain't that kinda blog.

Mister has been gone for a week.  Little and I have been sick for a few days.  We went from a house full of people to just me and Little.  So all that led to one mischievous tot.  Here's what he's been up to just in the past 72 hours.

The lake in his highchair was Monday night after dinner.  He finished his Shells and Cheese and decided that he'd empty his sippy onto his tray and create his own little splash pad.  I didn't really mind because it was just water.

Plus I didn't have to give him a bath, as he practically gave himself a shower.

Kind of looks like he was calling the Hogs. :)  WPS!

This little adventure with markers happened last night as I was in the bathroom getting his bath ready.  He knows he is not supposed to play with markers at all unless I am with him.   Thankfully most of the mess was on washable surfaces, like his stomach and a plastic swimming pool.

And this is what he has done so far this morning.

 The white powder is cornstarch.

And as I was busy for 14.6 seconds on a step stool in the laundry room putting the hand held vacuum back up and starting the laundry from the cornstarch mess, he was busy emptying a jar of Vasoline all over the ottoman, window ledge, and himself.

Yeah, so guess I'll be reupholstering that. 

See it glistening in his hair, hand, and chest?  That's also what is globbed all over his cheek.  I know why he did that - I've put Vick's on his chest for 2 days now bc he's congested and Vasoline on his nose and cheeks so they don't get chaffed from all the kleenex rubs, so I guess he thought he was helping.  

As you can see, he is always SO very remorseful for his messes.

Mister gets home at some point today (I think - I actually haven't heard from him since Sunday, so who knows), so that means Little's cold will clear up and his behavior will calm down and once again, Mister will have no idea what I go through when he's gone and no idea why I keep telling him that if I don't get some kind of a break soon I might end up in a straight jacket.  He'll think I staged every one of these pictures.  Of course he doesn't get it, he just spent the past week in a hotel and eating all his meals in nice restaurants with no screeching toddlers or dirty diapers or time spent trying to scrape vasoline out of a rocking chair.  I'm almost at my wit's end.  I've been up to my elbows in Puffs, Vicks, Hyland's, and DoTerra for 2 days.  With a congested 2 year old comes a week of practically no naps which means he is cranky and overtired during the day which also leads to fitful sleep at night where he wakes me up screaming and crying (thankfully, I don't have to get up as he is a pro at putting himself back down), and I've got my own congestion, headache and sore throat (thank you to whomever we picked this lovely virus up from) and we've both got cabin fever (because we don't go out and spread our germs around town when I know we've got them).   So get yer butt home, Mister!  It's only noon - I don't know how many more Tot Tornadoes I can clean up after today.  In fact, I'm afraid to finish this blog bc he's had plenty of time to destroy the entire house since I sat down and started typing this.

Don't forget to check out Monday's blog if you missed it! - a little thirty-one party

****I am going to lose my mind.  I just had to come back in here and add that he just dumped a bowl of cereal all over the floor ON PURPOSE by the washing maching bc I didn't put it in the right color bowl.  There are flakes and granola everywhere.