It's been 2 months now since I brought the Tot into world - and 2 months since I've slept. Me, in a word? "EXHAUSTED" He's still waking 3-5 times a night, sometimes to eat, sometimes just for a little reassurance from Mom that he's not been abandoned in his big scary crib. Little Stinker teased me Saturday night by sleeping 6.5 hours, waking to eat, then sleeping another 3. It was amazing! And apparently, a complete fluke never to be repeated. He's got a wonderful habit of showing me what the clock looks like for alteast 15 minutes of every single hour from about 3:00 til I just give up sometime between 6:30 and 8:30. Last night, for instance, he decided to eat a whopping 6oz bottle at 3:30 and absolutely refuse to go down until almost 5:00. Then he woke up at 6:15, 30, 40, 42, ....etc til I gave up trying to get any sleep at 7:15. The night before? We saw 3:30, 4:45. 5:30, 6:15, 7:15, 8:00, and gave up at 8:30. Like I said - exhausted. Damn it, I miss my husband. On top of the constant waking at night, he's decided naps out of my arms during the day are beneath him. I feel like we're in week 3 all over again. I have to keep using that stupid Moby Wrap just to give my arms a break and get things done. I have a care package for Mister that I meant to mail out by Monday that is still sitting open on the kitchen table bc my arms are too full of Tot to tape it shut. So if I don't have time/use of my arms to tape a package shut, how am I typing this blog you ask? ONE HANDED.
As tired and frusterated as I am, I am 1000xs more thankful and blessed. I have a healthy beautiful baby that I see my husband in, I have a whole pot of coffee to myself, I'm not in Alaska, and I got to "see" a smeary outline of a man who claims he was my Mister on Skype this morning. Yes, some of those are silly, but they are blessings nonetheless!
And one day...............far, far in the distant future..........Tot will remember how to sleep again, out of my arms, out of the car, out of the Moby Wrap....probably when he's 16 years old and late for school.
Hopeful Donut of Misery: 11% down, 89% to go
Realistic Donut of Misery: 9% down, 91% to go