Little's Life

Little's Life

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Last night alone and other realizations

So I get to pick Mister up at the airport this evening (yay!). He's been away on a mission hopefully for the last time until after Andrew is born. Last night I realized that, provided they don't send him away again in the next 6.5 weeks, it was my LAST night completely alone for a looooooooooooooooong time. It was a bittersweet realization. These past 4 years of Army life have given me years ~ literally YEARS ~ alone. Basic Training, AIT, training exercises, deployment, schools, PSU, cases that he has to work around the clock to solve, even 24 hour CQ shifts (front desk duty in the barracks, for those of you who do not speak Army)...these are all things that have left me facing an empty house night after night after night. Most of that time was spent in Alaska so when I say "alone" I mean the voice echoing in a canyon type of alone. I have no issue spending the daylight hours by myself - in fact, I *need* time to myself as I am used to so much of it. Deployment did that to me. I hated it at first because I was so used to having the boys from B-Co running amok in the house and then suddenly everyone was gone. I didn't just have Sam taken from me, I had almost everyone I knew up there taken away at once. But as the months went by I came to like the time to myself, but never the nights. I still hate it when his head isn't on the pillow next to mine. In fact, I cried last night even though I knew he'd be home the next day. I can't help it! I just love that guy! It didn't help that he was on a mission that didn't allow him time to call me for the last 48 hours of it. So anyway - there I was on my last night alone and how did I spend it? Ironing and assembling Christmas presents. WHOAAAAAA mama! Party central in my living room, lemme tell ya. I don't know how else I would have spent it if I would have realized a week ago that it would be my last one and had time to plan out my last few hours of solitude but really - ironing? I'm so lame. HAHA!
When Mister finally got to call today he asked what I was doing.
I answered with, "waiting for you".
He said, "You do that an awful lot, huh?"
Me - "story of my life"
Us - "hahahahah"
Me - "Well, this should be the last time I'm waiting for you alone, though!"
Him - "That's right! You'll have a little buddy waiting with you from now on!"
Then I got kinda sad bc now it won't just be me dealing with Mister away, Andrew will be hurting, too. That's going to just break my heart the first time Andrew is old enough to understand that the suitcase/duffle means that his daddy's leaving. But on the bright side, we'll be dealing with the seperations together. I'll have a wonderful distraction while Sam's gone and someone to hang out in the Arrivals section of the airport with.

I can't believe it's about to happen. I only have about 6 weeks left til my due date. I've already had a full day of false labor - the day before Thanksgiving. I didn't worry about it, though. I know what Braxton Hicks Contractions are, I've been having them for about 5 months now so I just let them be. By the 11th hour, they were coming about 3 min. apart and stayed that way for 2 hours. What a fun day! *note the sarcasm* I haven't gone more than 2 hours since then without a BHC so basically I've been contracting for a week and a half straight. False labor can trigger real labor so I just take it easy whenever I get more than 4 an hour and load up on the water. I'm never dehydrated but for some reason drinking water makes them back off. If I go into labor 3 weeks from now, the Docs will let it progress. I'm THAT pregnant. hahah! If I go into false labor again 3 weeks from now, I may just do jumping jacks instead of hitting the couch. ;) My back is killing me right now, btw. I keep having to get up from the computer and walk around. I should have Sam blow up the yoga ball so I can sit on it instead of this chair. Teacher at our child birth class said those balls were more comfortable to sit on than desk chairs in the 3rd trimester. I'm going to pull it out of the closet now.

What else have I realized lately...................?

~Oh, that I'm not going to have to pee every 15 minutes for much longer!!!!!!!! lol!
~I've got less than 2 months til I can have a spicy tuna roll and a big fat glass of anything with vodka in it.
~I'm about to be able tie my own shoes without waiting for a contraction to pass first (really! It's like trying to bend over a ball of concrete in your lap).
~We're going to be a family of 3. It won't be just the 2 of us anymore.
~Sam has officially run out of time to quit dipping before the baby is born like he promised....sigh.
~I'm going to have a mini Sam. How incredibly lucky am I???? I know that I'm blessed to have the original Sam but now I get to have TWO of him????????? My heart might just explode with fluffy hearts and rainbows.

I know that it is possible Tot may get most of his personality from me instead of Sam but I reeeeeeeeally hope he takes after his dad on this stuff
~temperment (Sam is way more chill than I am)
~sense of direction
~eye color
~his immune system
Stuff I hope he gets from me
~money management
~ability to be independant early on
~cat person vs dog person (hahahah)
things I hope he gets equally from the 2 of us
~hair (please Lord, do not let my baby have red curly hair!!!!!!!! he needs Sam's texture and my lack of red pigment)
~our confidence (we're both pretty fearless in our own set of circumstances)
~our faith
~our cleanliness and organizational tendencies
things I hope completely skip over him
~our height
~my allergies
~teenage rebellion (hey, it skipped Sam! Stop laughing, Mom.)

Ooooh! I better get moving. I leave for Nashville in an hour and I don't think Sam will appreciate having some big fat pregnant lady in green and purple plaid pj bottoms with no makeup on and her hair in a knot running toward him at the airport.


  1. Hey, if it helps sam out at all.... Kyle quit dipping!!!

  2. Seth quit too...well mostly. I know he has a dip when he hunts every now and then, but I don't mind that as long as it's not often and Setler NEVER sees it!

    Things I hope my twins get from me:
    my genetalia!